Your New Partner and Children
Introducing a new partner to your children
A difficulty that may arise post-divorce is the introduction of a new partner, but this can also be dealt with in the parenting plan. Parents must stay focused on the child’s best interest. One may include undertakings in the parenting plan that the parents will refrain from conditioning the child negatively towards a new partner; that there will be respect for the relationship between a parent and a new partner; that there will be respect for an ex-partner that has moved on with his/her life; that the other parent will try not to see the new partner as a threat, but rather as someone who could be a good influence; and that the parents will put their own personal issues aside, accept the new, blended family and do their best to create an amicable situation for everyone concerned.
Keep the first meeting with your new partner and the children short and low key. It is always better to go to a restaurant or neutral venue. Ask your children where they would like to go and do not invite your partner's children on the first meeting to join.
Do not plan an overnight right away. If you have shared care, it should be easy to spend an overnight with your new love when your children are with your ex. Having your new partner spend the night should only be an option once you are sure that your relationship will be permanent.
You must assure your children that your new partner will never replace their other parent or alter your relationship with them. For most children dating behaviors are viewed confusing as they may feel threatened about having to share you with another person.
Have realistic expectations about your children's acceptance of the new love in your life, your children may not share your enthusiasm. Consider the amount of time since your divorce, the age of your children, as well as the level of commitment with your partner. Do not introduce your children to new partners who you are dating casually. You can inform your children that you are going out with your friends and that's enough information you need to give.
A great article on when to introduce your children to a new partner can be found here.
Keep the first meeting with your new partner and the children short and low key. It is always better to go to a restaurant or neutral venue. Ask your children where they would like to go and do not invite your partner's children on the first meeting to join.
Do not plan an overnight right away. If you have shared care, it should be easy to spend an overnight with your new love when your children are with your ex. Having your new partner spend the night should only be an option once you are sure that your relationship will be permanent.
You must assure your children that your new partner will never replace their other parent or alter your relationship with them. For most children dating behaviors are viewed confusing as they may feel threatened about having to share you with another person.
Have realistic expectations about your children's acceptance of the new love in your life, your children may not share your enthusiasm. Consider the amount of time since your divorce, the age of your children, as well as the level of commitment with your partner. Do not introduce your children to new partners who you are dating casually. You can inform your children that you are going out with your friends and that's enough information you need to give.
A great article on when to introduce your children to a new partner can be found here.
