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Your New Partner and Children

Introducing a new partner to your children


A difficulty that may arise post-divorce is the introduction of a new partner, but this can also be dealt with in the parenting plan. Parents must stay focused on the child’s best interest. One may include undertakings in the parenting plan that the parents will refrain from conditioning the child negatively towards a new partner; that there will be respect for the relationship between a parent and a new partner; that there will be respect for an ex-partner that has moved on with his/her life; that the other parent will try not to see the new partner as a threat, but rather as someone who could be a good influence; and that the parents will put their own personal issues aside, accept the new, blended family and do their best to create an amicable situation for everyone concerned.

Keep the first meeting with your new partner and the children short and low key. It is always better to go to a restaurant or neutral venue. Ask your children where they would like to go and do not invite your partner's children on the first meeting to join.

Do not plan an overnight right away. If you have shared care, it should be easy to spend an overnight with your new love when your children are with your ex. Having your new partner spend the night should only be an option once you are sure that your relationship will be permanent.

You must assure your children that your new partner will never replace their other parent or alter your relationship with them. For most children dating behaviors are viewed confusing as they may feel threatened about having to share you with another person.

Have realistic expectations about your children's acceptance of the new love in your life, your children may not share your enthusiasm. Consider the amount of time since your divorce, the age of your children, as well as the level of commitment with your partner. Do not introduce your children to new partners who you are dating casually. You can inform your children that you are going out with your friends and that's enough information you need to give.

A great article on when to introduce your children to a new partner can be found here. 

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BERTUS PRELLER
​MAURICE PHILLIPS WISENBERG

20th Floor, 2 Long  Street, Cape Town, 8001, South Africa
Telephone: +27 21 419 7115


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Email: familylaw@mpw.co.za
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  • Home
  • Divorce
    • The Divorce Process in South Africa
    • Rule 41A Mediation
    • The Marital Property Regimes >
      • Marriage out of Community of Property, new case
      • Marriage in Community of Property
      • Marriage out of community without accrual
      • Marriage out of community with the inclusion of the accrual
      • Universal Partnerships
      • Register Antenuptial Contract Online
      • Changing your matrimonial regime.
    • Division of Assets at Divorce >
      • Forfeiture of Assets in a Divorce
    • Evicting your spouse divorce
    • Retirement Funds and Divorce
    • Living Annuities
    • Hiding Assets in a Divorce
    • Trusts and Divorce >
      • Can I hide assets in Trust?
    • Divorce a Missing Spouse
    • Adultery and Suing a Third Party
    • Domicile in Divorce Cases
    • International Divorces in South Africa
    • Expat South African Divorce
    • International Jurisdiction
    • Spousal Visas
    • International Divorce Law >
      • UK Divorce Laws
    • Choosing a Divorce Attorney
    • On-line Divorce
    • Lawyer Fees and Costs
    • Important Aspects of a Divorce
    • Dealing with Emotions During Divorce and Separation
    • Divorce Statistics
    • Divorce Therapy and Counselling >
      • Marriage and Relationship Therapists
    • Rebuilding Your Financial Life
    • Divorce Attorney Cape Town
    • Divorce Polls
    • Ingredients of a successful relationship
    • Uncontested Divorce
    • Uncontested Divorce - What Happens on the Court Day?
  • Maintenance
    • Maintenance Child COVID19
    • Spousal maintenance
    • How to calculate Child Maintenance?
    • Maintenance Defaulters
    • What Happens if you don't pay child maintenance
    • Child Maintenance Frequently Asked Questions
    • Rule 43 Interim Maintenance Pending Divorce >
      • Can I appeal a Rule 43 Order
      • Apply for Costs in Rule 43
      • Financial Disclosure Rule 43
      • Rule 43 Maintenance
    • The Maintenance Manual
    • Grand Parents and Maintenance
  • Children
    • Relocation and Child Abduction >
      • Frequently Asked Questions about Child Relocation
      • Child Relocation to New Zealand
      • International Child Custody Law South Africa
      • Tips on international child custody
    • Unmarried Parents and the Law
    • Parenting Plans >
      • Conflict and dispute-resolution mechanisms
    • The non-custodian parent and contact
    • Appointing a Guardian in a Will
    • Introducing a new partner to your child
    • Refusal of Contact
    • Vaccinating Children Covid-19
    • Suspending Parental Rights
    • Parental Alienation >
      • Alienating Children
      • Parental Alienation Imprisonment
    • Facilitation
    • Living Arrangements
    • Joint decisions about your child
    • Paternity Disputes
    • The Family Advocate
    • Parenting during separartion
    • Children's Act 38 of 2005
  • Abuse
    • Domestic Violence Amended Bill
    • Gender Based Violence in South Africa
    • Domestic Abuse Forms
    • Evicting a Spouse
    • Domestic Violence Corona Virus
    • Divorcing an Abusive Spouse
    • What is Coercive Control?
    • What is Emotional Abuse
    • What is Sexual Abuse
    • What is Financial Abuse >
      • Economic Abuse
    • What is Stalking
    • What is Verbal Abuse
    • What is Spiritual Abuse
    • What is Social Abuse
    • Revenge Porn
    • Interdict Intimate photos
    • Steps to obtain a Protection Order
    • Domestic Violence eBook
    • The Protection Order
    • Who Qualifies for a Protection Order
    • Breaching a Protection Order
    • Questions on Domestic Abuse
    • Signs of an Abusive Relationship
    • Domestic Violence Information
    • Harassment
  • Cohabitation
    • Maintenance and Cohabitation
    • Sample Cohabitation Agreement
    • Engagement and the law
    • Formalities for marriage in south africa
  • Same Sex
  • Family Law eBooks
  • Family Law Links
    • The South African Court System
    • Court Rolls
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    • Online Family Law Education
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Charities