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Family and Divorce law in South Africa - A Comprehensive Guide
  • Home
  • Divorce
    • The Reasons for Divorce
    • The Divorce Process in South Africa
    • Rule 41A Mediation
    • The Marital Property Regimes >
      • Marriage out of Community of Property, new case
      • Marriage in Community of Property
      • Marriage out of community without accrual >
        • Understanding Post-1984 Marriages
      • Marriage out of community with the inclusion of the accrual
      • Universal Partnerships
      • Antenuptial Contracts
      • Register Antenuptial Contract Online
      • Changing your matrimonial regime.
      • Postnuptial Contracts
    • Division of Assets at Divorce >
      • Forfeiture of Assets in a Divorce
    • Evicting your spouse divorce
    • Retirement Funds and Divorce
    • Living Annuities
    • Hiding Assets in a Divorce
    • Trusts and Divorce >
      • Can I hide assets in Trust?
    • Divorce a Missing Spouse
    • Adultery and Suing a Third Party
    • Domicile in Divorce Cases
    • International Divorces in South Africa
    • Expat South African Divorce
    • International Jurisdiction
    • Spousal Visas
    • International Divorce Law >
      • UK Divorce Laws
    • Choosing a Divorce Attorney
    • On-line Divorce
    • Lawyer Fees and Costs
    • Important Aspects of a Divorce
    • Divorcing a Narcistic Spouse
    • Dealing with Emotions During Divorce and Separation
    • Divorce Statistics
    • Divorce Therapy and Counselling >
      • Marriage and Relationship Therapists
    • Rebuilding Your Financial Life
    • Divorce Attorney Cape Town
    • Ingredients of a successful relationship
    • What are the elements of a successful marriage?
    • Uncontested Divorce
    • Uncontested Divorce - What Happens on the Court Day?
  • Maintenance
    • Spousal maintenance
    • How to calculate Child Maintenance?
    • Maintenance Defaulters
    • What Happens if you don't pay child maintenance
    • Child Maintenance Frequently Asked Questions
    • Rule 43 Interim Maintenance Pending Divorce >
      • Can I appeal a Rule 43 Order
      • Apply for Costs in Rule 43
      • Financial Disclosure Rule 43
      • Rule 43 Maintenance
    • The Maintenance Manual
    • Grand Parents and Maintenance
    • Variation of Maintenance due to loss of employment
    • Contempt of Court Maintenance
  • Children
    • Section 28 of the Children's Act
    • Relocation and Child Abduction >
      • Frequently Asked Questions about Child Relocation
      • Child Relocation to New Zealand
    • The Hague Convention >
      • Child Participation in South African Family Law and the Hague Convention
      • International Child Custody Law South Africa
      • Hague Applications and Domestic Violence
      • Mirror Orders and the Hague Convention
      • Tips on international child custody
    • Unmarried Parents and the Law
    • Unmarried Fathers Rights
    • Parenting Plans >
      • Parenting Plan
      • Conflict and dispute-resolution mechanisms
    • The non-custodian parent and contact
    • Appointing a Guardian in a Will
    • Introducing a new partner to your child
    • Refusal of Contact
    • Suspending Parental Rights
    • The Law on Grandparents Rights over Children
    • Parental Alienation >
      • Alienating Children
      • Parental Alienation Imprisonment
      • What is the effect of Parental Alienation on children?
    • Living Arrangements
    • What effect does divorce have on children?
    • The Voice of the Child in Divorce
    • Facilitation
    • Joint decisions about your child
    • Paternity Disputes
    • The Family Advocate
    • Parenting during separartion
    • Children's Act 38 of 2005
  • Abuse
    • Domestic Violence Legislation and Case Law
    • The New Domestic Violence Act 14 of 2021
    • Gender Based Violence in South Africa
    • Domestic Abuse Forms
    • Evicting a Spouse
    • Being married to a Narcissist.
    • Divorcing an Abusive Spouse
    • What is Coercive Control?
    • What is Emotional Abuse
    • What is Sexual Abuse
    • What is Financial Abuse >
      • Economic Abuse
    • What is Stalking
    • What is Verbal Abuse
    • What is Spiritual Abuse
    • What is Social Abuse
    • Revenge Porn
    • Interdict Intimate photos
    • Steps to obtain a Protection Order
    • Domestic Violence eBook
    • The Protection Order
    • Who Qualifies for a Protection Order
    • Breaching a Protection Order
    • Questions on Domestic Abuse
    • Signs of an Abusive Relationship
    • Domestic Violence Information
    • Harassment >
      • Harassment Forms
  • Cohabitation
    • Maintenance and Cohabitation
    • Interim Maintenance and Cohabitation
    • Sample Cohabitation Agreement
    • Engagement and the law
  • Formalities for marriage in south africa
    • South Africa's New Marriage Bill: A Step Towards Equality and Inclusion
    • Same Sex
  • Family Law eBooks
  • Family Law Links
    • The South African Court System
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    • Family Law Legislation
    • Family Law Blog
    • New Family Law Cases
    • Register for the Online Family Law Course
  • About the Author
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  • Charities

The Non-Custodian Parent


Child custody
The parenting plan will contain a clause setting out the reasonable contact that the parent of alternate residence shall have with the child during term time and school holidays, taking into account the child’s social, school and extra-mural activities.

​There are an infinite number of possibilities available when drawing up a parenting plan. Jobs, schools and a variety of other factors must still be taken into account. The bottom line is to find a plan that works for the whole family.
​
​The Office of the Family Advocate has made the following recommendations regarding contact. It should, however, be kept in mind that contact depends on the circumstances of the case and so the below are merely guidelines.

Age of child:
0–6 months
​
Frequency and duration:
​Longer periods if contact is regular. If weekly, 3 hours per visit. Shorter, more frequent periods of contact are suggested, 2 to 3 times per week

Overnight:
No

Vacation time:
​No

Age of child:
7–19 months

Frequency and duration:
​The same as for 0–6 months

Overnight:
No

Vacation time:
​Not really

Age of child:
18–36 months

Frequency and duration:
Weekly contact. If during weekends, a portion of 1 or both days. Long weekend visits are not recommended. ​Acceptable for 3-year-olds

Overnight:
Possibly acceptable for 3-year-olds

Vacation time:
Possibly. Many factors. One week or less for older children in this age group

Age of child:
​
3–5 years

Frequency and duration:
Predictable contact is important. Weekly time, if possible. Full weekends or 2 other days and nights at this stage

Overnight:
Yes, usually

Vacation time:
​Yes. Possibly longer than 1 week for younger children. Higher limits of 2 weeks for older children

Age of child:
6–12 years

Frequency and duration:
​The same as above. An additional overnight is applicable for this age

Overnight:
Yes

Vacation time:
Yes, 2 weeks or longer. It is possible to exchange the primary residence during holidays with reversed time sharing for the stage

Adolescence:

​Frequency and duration:

​Focus should be on the needs of the teenager while parental responsibility and supervision is maintained

Overnight:
Yes, optional
​
Vacation time:
Yes. Increased sensitivity regarding activities and schedules for this group (work, organised sport, etc.)

Holiday Contact

Short school holidays, depending on the child’s age and maturity, usually alternate. For example, if the September school holiday is spent with one parent, then that holiday will be spent with the other parent the following year. Long school holidays, again depending on the child’s age and maturity, are usually split in half. If the child spends the first half of, for example, the December school holiday with one parent, then the following year the child will spend the second half of the same school holiday with that parent. If the child is not able to cope with long periods away from one parent, the holiday contact time should be shortened accordingly.

​In addition, the parenting plan will state that the child has the right to spend Mother’s Day with the mother and Father’s Day with the father. The child also has the right to spend a stipulated amount of time with the mother and father on their respective birthdays should the child not be residing with them at the time. The plan will also detail how the parent of alternate residence will exercise contact on the child’s birthday.

Other contact

The parenting plan will also usually contain a clause stating that, bearing the child’s age and maturity, he/she will be entitled to telephonic or Skype access to the mother when with the father and to the father when with the mother at reasonable times. Each parent is compelled to provide the other with the relevant contact details.

School information

The parenting plan will also outline the parents’ involvement in the child’s schooling. Both parents must have full access to the school and teachers, and must remain involved in and support and encourage the child’s progress at school and participation in extra-murals. The parenting plan usually contains a directive to inform the child’s school that the parents are co-holders of parental rights and therefore jointly involved in all educational issues concerning the child. Each parent will be entitled to discuss issues relating to the child directly with the teacher concerned, as well as receive school reports, assessments and notices, and attend all school-related events and extra-mural activities.

Joint decision making

On certain issues, parents will be required to take joint decisions. These will be tabled in the parenting plan, and usually include major decisions about schooling and tertiary education, mental health and medical care, contact with the child, and any decisions that are likely to significantly change the child’s living conditions or have an adverse effect on his/her well-being. It is advisable that both parents participate in decisions affecting the health, education and welfare of their children. Parents need to be motivated to share the responsibility of making major decisions concerning their children.

Contact between the child and others

Children have the right to have contact with any other person if it is in their best interests. This can usually be established by asking the child/parents/school/significant others about the relationship. The parenting plan will then stipulate the contact that needs to occur to maintain the relationship.

Communication between the parents

Communication between parents is a vital aspect that should be covered in a parenting plan, because communication will assist parents in
  • meeting the child’s needs;
  • preventing the child from experiencing an overwhelming sense of worry and fear of abandonment; and
  • protecting the child from continued parental conflict, feelings of unhappiness, and unrealistic expectations about the marriage.
 
The aim of this section in the parenting plan is to allow parents to communicate information to each other regarding the child’s needs (medical, educational, etc.) and performance (school, sport, etc.) in different areas. 

Conflict and dispute-resolution mechanisms

Picture
The Children’s Act states that in any matter concerning a child, an approach that is conducive to conciliation and problem-solving should be followed.
Read more
When to introduce your child your a new partner?

Picture
​A difficulty that may arise post-divorce is the introduction of a new partner, but this can also be dealt with in the parenting plan. Parents must stay focused on the child’s best interest. 
Read more
Making decisions together about your child​

Picture
Because more than one person may hold parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the same child, each of the co-holders may act without the consent of the other. 
Read more

Main Menu

Cohabitation and Living Together
Engagement and the Law
Formalities of Marriage in South Africa
Same-Sex Relationships
Unmarried Parents and Children
Parental Rights and Responsibilities
Care and Contact (Custody) of Children
Divorce In South Africa
Divorce Process in South Africa
Division of Assets in Divorce
Divorce and Retirement Funds
Rule 43 and Interim Maintenance
Divorce a Missing Spouse
Adultery, Suing a Third Party
International Divorces in South African Courts
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​

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Contact Details

BERTUS PRELLER
​MAURICE PHILLIPS WISENBERG

20th Floor, 2 Long  Street, Cape Town, 8001, South Africa
Telephone: +27 21 419 7115
Email: familylaw(@)mpw.co.za​


​
Email: familylaw@mpw.co.za
Facebook: divorceattorneys
Twitter: @bertuspreller

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Legal Notices
  • Home
  • Divorce
    • The Reasons for Divorce
    • The Divorce Process in South Africa
    • Rule 41A Mediation
    • The Marital Property Regimes >
      • Marriage out of Community of Property, new case
      • Marriage in Community of Property
      • Marriage out of community without accrual >
        • Understanding Post-1984 Marriages
      • Marriage out of community with the inclusion of the accrual
      • Universal Partnerships
      • Antenuptial Contracts
      • Register Antenuptial Contract Online
      • Changing your matrimonial regime.
      • Postnuptial Contracts
    • Division of Assets at Divorce >
      • Forfeiture of Assets in a Divorce
    • Evicting your spouse divorce
    • Retirement Funds and Divorce
    • Living Annuities
    • Hiding Assets in a Divorce
    • Trusts and Divorce >
      • Can I hide assets in Trust?
    • Divorce a Missing Spouse
    • Adultery and Suing a Third Party
    • Domicile in Divorce Cases
    • International Divorces in South Africa
    • Expat South African Divorce
    • International Jurisdiction
    • Spousal Visas
    • International Divorce Law >
      • UK Divorce Laws
    • Choosing a Divorce Attorney
    • On-line Divorce
    • Lawyer Fees and Costs
    • Important Aspects of a Divorce
    • Divorcing a Narcistic Spouse
    • Dealing with Emotions During Divorce and Separation
    • Divorce Statistics
    • Divorce Therapy and Counselling >
      • Marriage and Relationship Therapists
    • Rebuilding Your Financial Life
    • Divorce Attorney Cape Town
    • Ingredients of a successful relationship
    • What are the elements of a successful marriage?
    • Uncontested Divorce
    • Uncontested Divorce - What Happens on the Court Day?
  • Maintenance
    • Spousal maintenance
    • How to calculate Child Maintenance?
    • Maintenance Defaulters
    • What Happens if you don't pay child maintenance
    • Child Maintenance Frequently Asked Questions
    • Rule 43 Interim Maintenance Pending Divorce >
      • Can I appeal a Rule 43 Order
      • Apply for Costs in Rule 43
      • Financial Disclosure Rule 43
      • Rule 43 Maintenance
    • The Maintenance Manual
    • Grand Parents and Maintenance
    • Variation of Maintenance due to loss of employment
    • Contempt of Court Maintenance
  • Children
    • Section 28 of the Children's Act
    • Relocation and Child Abduction >
      • Frequently Asked Questions about Child Relocation
      • Child Relocation to New Zealand
    • The Hague Convention >
      • Child Participation in South African Family Law and the Hague Convention
      • International Child Custody Law South Africa
      • Hague Applications and Domestic Violence
      • Mirror Orders and the Hague Convention
      • Tips on international child custody
    • Unmarried Parents and the Law
    • Unmarried Fathers Rights
    • Parenting Plans >
      • Parenting Plan
      • Conflict and dispute-resolution mechanisms
    • The non-custodian parent and contact
    • Appointing a Guardian in a Will
    • Introducing a new partner to your child
    • Refusal of Contact
    • Suspending Parental Rights
    • The Law on Grandparents Rights over Children
    • Parental Alienation >
      • Alienating Children
      • Parental Alienation Imprisonment
      • What is the effect of Parental Alienation on children?
    • Living Arrangements
    • What effect does divorce have on children?
    • The Voice of the Child in Divorce
    • Facilitation
    • Joint decisions about your child
    • Paternity Disputes
    • The Family Advocate
    • Parenting during separartion
    • Children's Act 38 of 2005
  • Abuse
    • Domestic Violence Legislation and Case Law
    • The New Domestic Violence Act 14 of 2021
    • Gender Based Violence in South Africa
    • Domestic Abuse Forms
    • Evicting a Spouse
    • Being married to a Narcissist.
    • Divorcing an Abusive Spouse
    • What is Coercive Control?
    • What is Emotional Abuse
    • What is Sexual Abuse
    • What is Financial Abuse >
      • Economic Abuse
    • What is Stalking
    • What is Verbal Abuse
    • What is Spiritual Abuse
    • What is Social Abuse
    • Revenge Porn
    • Interdict Intimate photos
    • Steps to obtain a Protection Order
    • Domestic Violence eBook
    • The Protection Order
    • Who Qualifies for a Protection Order
    • Breaching a Protection Order
    • Questions on Domestic Abuse
    • Signs of an Abusive Relationship
    • Domestic Violence Information
    • Harassment >
      • Harassment Forms
  • Cohabitation
    • Maintenance and Cohabitation
    • Interim Maintenance and Cohabitation
    • Sample Cohabitation Agreement
    • Engagement and the law
  • Formalities for marriage in south africa
    • South Africa's New Marriage Bill: A Step Towards Equality and Inclusion
    • Same Sex
  • Family Law eBooks
  • Family Law Links
    • The South African Court System
    • Court Rolls
    • Family Law Legislation
    • Family Law Blog
    • New Family Law Cases
    • Register for the Online Family Law Course
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Charities