The Non-Custodian Parent
The parenting plan will contain a clause setting out the reasonable contact that the parent of alternate residence shall have with the child during term time and school holidays, taking into account the child’s social, school and extra-mural activities.
There are an infinite number of possibilities available when drawing up a parenting plan. Jobs, schools and a variety of other factors must still be taken into account. The bottom line is to find a plan that works for the whole family.
The Office of the Family Advocate has made the following recommendations regarding contact. It should, however, be kept in mind that contact depends on the circumstances of the case and so the below are merely guidelines.
There are an infinite number of possibilities available when drawing up a parenting plan. Jobs, schools and a variety of other factors must still be taken into account. The bottom line is to find a plan that works for the whole family.
The Office of the Family Advocate has made the following recommendations regarding contact. It should, however, be kept in mind that contact depends on the circumstances of the case and so the below are merely guidelines.
Age of child:
0–6 months
Frequency and duration:
Longer periods if contact is regular. If weekly, 3 hours per visit. Shorter, more frequent periods of contact are suggested, 2 to 3 times per week
Overnight:
No
Vacation time:
No
0–6 months
Frequency and duration:
Longer periods if contact is regular. If weekly, 3 hours per visit. Shorter, more frequent periods of contact are suggested, 2 to 3 times per week
Overnight:
No
Vacation time:
No
Age of child:
7–19 months
Frequency and duration:
The same as for 0–6 months
Overnight:
No
Vacation time:
Not really
7–19 months
Frequency and duration:
The same as for 0–6 months
Overnight:
No
Vacation time:
Not really
Age of child:
18–36 months
Frequency and duration:
Weekly contact. If during weekends, a portion of 1 or both days. Long weekend visits are not recommended. Acceptable for 3-year-olds
Overnight:
Possibly acceptable for 3-year-olds
Vacation time:
Possibly. Many factors. One week or less for older children in this age group
18–36 months
Frequency and duration:
Weekly contact. If during weekends, a portion of 1 or both days. Long weekend visits are not recommended. Acceptable for 3-year-olds
Overnight:
Possibly acceptable for 3-year-olds
Vacation time:
Possibly. Many factors. One week or less for older children in this age group
Age of child:
3–5 years
Frequency and duration:
Predictable contact is important. Weekly time, if possible. Full weekends or 2 other days and nights at this stage
Overnight:
Yes, usually
Vacation time:
Yes. Possibly longer than 1 week for younger children. Higher limits of 2 weeks for older children
3–5 years
Frequency and duration:
Predictable contact is important. Weekly time, if possible. Full weekends or 2 other days and nights at this stage
Overnight:
Yes, usually
Vacation time:
Yes. Possibly longer than 1 week for younger children. Higher limits of 2 weeks for older children
Age of child:
6–12 years
Frequency and duration:
The same as above. An additional overnight is applicable for this age
Overnight:
Yes
Vacation time:
Yes, 2 weeks or longer. It is possible to exchange the primary residence during holidays with reversed time sharing for the stage
6–12 years
Frequency and duration:
The same as above. An additional overnight is applicable for this age
Overnight:
Yes
Vacation time:
Yes, 2 weeks or longer. It is possible to exchange the primary residence during holidays with reversed time sharing for the stage
Adolescence:
Frequency and duration:
Focus should be on the needs of the teenager while parental responsibility and supervision is maintained
Overnight:
Yes, optional
Vacation time:
Yes. Increased sensitivity regarding activities and schedules for this group (work, organised sport, etc.)
Frequency and duration:
Focus should be on the needs of the teenager while parental responsibility and supervision is maintained
Overnight:
Yes, optional
Vacation time:
Yes. Increased sensitivity regarding activities and schedules for this group (work, organised sport, etc.)
Holiday Contact
Short school holidays, depending on the child’s age and maturity, usually alternate. For example, if the September school holiday is spent with one parent, then that holiday will be spent with the other parent the following year. Long school holidays, again depending on the child’s age and maturity, are usually split in half. If the child spends the first half of, for example, the December school holiday with one parent, then the following year the child will spend the second half of the same school holiday with that parent. If the child is not able to cope with long periods away from one parent, the holiday contact time should be shortened accordingly.
In addition, the parenting plan will state that the child has the right to spend Mother’s Day with the mother and Father’s Day with the father. The child also has the right to spend a stipulated amount of time with the mother and father on their respective birthdays should the child not be residing with them at the time. The plan will also detail how the parent of alternate residence will exercise contact on the child’s birthday.
Short school holidays, depending on the child’s age and maturity, usually alternate. For example, if the September school holiday is spent with one parent, then that holiday will be spent with the other parent the following year. Long school holidays, again depending on the child’s age and maturity, are usually split in half. If the child spends the first half of, for example, the December school holiday with one parent, then the following year the child will spend the second half of the same school holiday with that parent. If the child is not able to cope with long periods away from one parent, the holiday contact time should be shortened accordingly.
In addition, the parenting plan will state that the child has the right to spend Mother’s Day with the mother and Father’s Day with the father. The child also has the right to spend a stipulated amount of time with the mother and father on their respective birthdays should the child not be residing with them at the time. The plan will also detail how the parent of alternate residence will exercise contact on the child’s birthday.
Other contact
The parenting plan will also usually contain a clause stating that, bearing the child’s age and maturity, he/she will be entitled to telephonic or Skype access to the mother when with the father and to the father when with the mother at reasonable times. Each parent is compelled to provide the other with the relevant contact details.
The parenting plan will also usually contain a clause stating that, bearing the child’s age and maturity, he/she will be entitled to telephonic or Skype access to the mother when with the father and to the father when with the mother at reasonable times. Each parent is compelled to provide the other with the relevant contact details.
School information
The parenting plan will also outline the parents’ involvement in the child’s schooling. Both parents must have full access to the school and teachers, and must remain involved in and support and encourage the child’s progress at school and participation in extra-murals. The parenting plan usually contains a directive to inform the child’s school that the parents are co-holders of parental rights and therefore jointly involved in all educational issues concerning the child. Each parent will be entitled to discuss issues relating to the child directly with the teacher concerned, as well as receive school reports, assessments and notices, and attend all school-related events and extra-mural activities.
The parenting plan will also outline the parents’ involvement in the child’s schooling. Both parents must have full access to the school and teachers, and must remain involved in and support and encourage the child’s progress at school and participation in extra-murals. The parenting plan usually contains a directive to inform the child’s school that the parents are co-holders of parental rights and therefore jointly involved in all educational issues concerning the child. Each parent will be entitled to discuss issues relating to the child directly with the teacher concerned, as well as receive school reports, assessments and notices, and attend all school-related events and extra-mural activities.
Joint decision making
On certain issues, parents will be required to take joint decisions. These will be tabled in the parenting plan, and usually include major decisions about schooling and tertiary education, mental health and medical care, contact with the child, and any decisions that are likely to significantly change the child’s living conditions or have an adverse effect on his/her well-being. It is advisable that both parents participate in decisions affecting the health, education and welfare of their children. Parents need to be motivated to share the responsibility of making major decisions concerning their children.
On certain issues, parents will be required to take joint decisions. These will be tabled in the parenting plan, and usually include major decisions about schooling and tertiary education, mental health and medical care, contact with the child, and any decisions that are likely to significantly change the child’s living conditions or have an adverse effect on his/her well-being. It is advisable that both parents participate in decisions affecting the health, education and welfare of their children. Parents need to be motivated to share the responsibility of making major decisions concerning their children.
Contact between the child and others
Children have the right to have contact with any other person if it is in their best interests. This can usually be established by asking the child/parents/school/significant others about the relationship. The parenting plan will then stipulate the contact that needs to occur to maintain the relationship.
Children have the right to have contact with any other person if it is in their best interests. This can usually be established by asking the child/parents/school/significant others about the relationship. The parenting plan will then stipulate the contact that needs to occur to maintain the relationship.
Communication between the parents
Communication between parents is a vital aspect that should be covered in a parenting plan, because communication will assist parents in
The aim of this section in the parenting plan is to allow parents to communicate information to each other regarding the child’s needs (medical, educational, etc.) and performance (school, sport, etc.) in different areas.
Communication between parents is a vital aspect that should be covered in a parenting plan, because communication will assist parents in
- meeting the child’s needs;
- preventing the child from experiencing an overwhelming sense of worry and fear of abandonment; and
- protecting the child from continued parental conflict, feelings of unhappiness, and unrealistic expectations about the marriage.
The aim of this section in the parenting plan is to allow parents to communicate information to each other regarding the child’s needs (medical, educational, etc.) and performance (school, sport, etc.) in different areas.
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Conflict and dispute-resolution mechanisms
The Children’s Act states that in any matter concerning a child, an approach that is conducive to conciliation and problem-solving should be followed.
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When to introduce your child your a new partner?
A difficulty that may arise post-divorce is the introduction of a new partner, but this can also be dealt with in the parenting plan. Parents must stay focused on the child’s best interest.
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Making decisions together about your child
Because more than one person may hold parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the same child, each of the co-holders may act without the consent of the other.
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